Resolving conflict is a skill that everyone needs to work on, even if you aren’t in a relationship. There are several things to remember when entering into a confrontation that is important for it to go well.
Remember conflict is going to happen in any relationship. There is no need to be scared of it as long as you do it well. When you do, it can actually bring you closer!
Keep these tips in mind in order to fight fair:
1. Accept that conflict exists. Denial will only make the issue grow bigger until it gets addressed.
2. Fight about one issue at a time. Try not to be angry at the same time about different issues. It will get confusing what you are really fighting about.
3. Look at yourself and ask why you are really mad. It’s important to discuss the real issue rather than focus on things on the surface. Ask yourself “What is my point? What do I want him/her to hear?” Starting here can save time and energy.
4. Enter in the discussion with the intent to solve the problem. Blaming will breakdown any possibility of teamwork. Stay focused on resolution and avoid low blows.
5. Stay and work through the problem. Don’t run away or avoid. Sure you may need to take a short break in order to calm down, but it is not healthy to avoid finishing the conflict. Sweeping an issue under the rug will only end with it growing bigger and coming back more intense than the fist time.
6. Speak your needs. Before you air a complaint, make sure you have an idea of what you do need your partner to do. This helps teach him/her what you are needing in the relationship. Don’t keep them guessing…be direct!
Conflict is a normal part of the relationship. Just stay focused on doing it in a healthy way!