America’s divorce rates are sad. 50% percent of first marriages, 67% of second, and 74% of third marriages end in divorce, according to the Forest Institute of Professional Psychology.

Why is that? Why do so many marriages end in divorce? I see couples on the verge of divorce all the time. One thing I often think is that they could have saved each other a lot of heart ache by starting counseling earlier. Many couples are “tardy” to therapy- meaning they have waited way too long to get outside help which has caused more damage in the relationship. If only they had come in for a marriage “tune up”, they may not have broken down.

Some couples wait to come to therapy as a last resort. They start therapy with one foot out the door and only come just to say “they tried” and have no intention of putting forth the effort.

Let’s be real…EVERY marriage goes through hard times. Communication gets hard, feelings are hurt, disconnect happens, and pain occurs. Most people will experience a time in their marriage that they consider getting out. But just because it gets hard doesn’t mean that you can’t fix things and have a fulfilling relationship.

The key is about reaching out for help before it is too late. When you seek out a proactive “marriage tune-up”, you will learn new ways to communicate that will prevent issues. Addressing wounds when they are the size of a paper cut- and not a gunshot wound- can help change hurtful habits. It takes dedication and commitment to be proactive and work through issues. The road will be bumpy at times, but things can turn around as long as you don’t wait until it’s too late.

If you need a marriage tune up, I encourage you to reach out. Changing things now will be easier than waiting until it’s so painful you want out.

So tell me, what prevents you from scheduling a marriage tune up for you and your spouse?