Have you ever caught yourself wondering if he is more than a friend? You aren’t having sex with him, but you feel closer to him than other guy friends. If this sounds like one of your friendships with a man, you could be headed for an emotional affair.
Twenty percent of marriages suffer from emotional affairs. They are slippery slopes that may seem harmless, yet they do similar damage in a relationship like a physical affair. It’s important to protect your marriage and family from this destruction by knowing where the boundaries are.
Here are some indicators you are headed for an emotional affair:
You act differently when you are alone with him
Do you find yourself changing when you are one-on-one with him? Do you flirt, but think it’s harmless? This can be a dangerous pattern. It is better to keep your interactions consistent so you don’t send a confusing message.
You are keeping a secret
Have you erased text messages or left out details of your interactions with your friend? Do you fear your husband may get mad if he knew everything you talk about with this friend? As a therapist, my rule of thumb for clients is to ask themselves, “Would my husband be uncomfortable if he saw or heard my interactions with my friend?” If the answer is yes, stop now. Measuring your interactions this way can help you know if you are crossing the line. Here are some other ways to affair proof your marriage.
You share intimate details
Getting support from friends is normal, but it gets risky when you lean on a male friend and share intimate details that should be reserved for your husband. It’s a good idea to stay open with your husband. Don’t share information with your friend if you wouldn’t say it with your husband there.
Also, be sure not to complain about your husband to your male friend as it could quickly connect you in a way that leads to an emotional affair.