Do you have your spouse’s back when it comes to parenting your kids? Are you a united front?
There’s been many times in our parenting journey that my husband and I have stood firm together as a team. We’ve had each other’s back and tagged the other one in when we need back up or relief.
It feels more secure to have a teammate when it comes to shaping your kids lives. With all the questions and situations you come across, it helps to process and analyze your plan of action together rather than doing it alone. Not everyone has the luxury of having two parents in the home to share the parenting burdens, so make sure you use this option if you have it.
Ways to be a united front in parenting
Have frequent talks where you share the details for what’s been going on with the kids, and also use this time to share about what you need from each other when it comes to parenting. If you aren’t all-stars at communication, you will have to intentionally increase the communication and “over share” the details to stay on the same page. You don’t want your teammate to be left out of any puzzle pieces when making decisions about your kids.
Don’t disagree about parenting in front of the kids
Make sure you keep your stance together in front of the kids- even if you disagree. Discuss the parenting conflict and discipline plan behind closed doors in order to not give the kids any ammo to use to manipulate. Kids are masters at using the tiny things they pick up on toward their advantage to get their way. Dividing the parents can help their cause. Remember it’s normal to disagree on somethings, but you want to show the kids unity and keep your parenting conflicts away from them.
Lean on each other
Sometimes parenting can bring you to the end of yourself. It stretches and grows you in new ways. When you find yourself in that place, it’s important to get support and help from each other. You aren’t on this journey alone. When things get too overwhelming, it’s good to tag in your spouse to help you out and share the load.
Use “Us” Language
It’s ok to say “I’ll let you know when your dad and I talk and decide.” This shows your kids that you are talking and value making parenting decisions together. I encourage you to embrace the “US” concept of parenting with your spouse.
Having a united front as parents is vital to surviving and having an enjoyable parenting experience.
Just like many will set aside time for a family meeting, it’s good to invest time in a “parenting meeting” to check in with each other about how it’s going and future steps and goals you want to take in order to stay united.
What makes it hard for you to have a united front in parenting?