Do you know the 4 T’s that are important for a healthy marriage? Doing these consistently requires discipline and intentionally, and it will be a good foundation for a healthy marriage.

We all want to have happy and fulfilling relationships, but there’s so much information out there on what to do and how to do it. Not that all that of those suggestions are bad or wrong, it can just be overwhelming to try to know where to start and do it all.

When you prioritize these 4 things in your marriage, you will have more connection and healthier communication that will allow you to implement some of the other strategies out there. These basic ideas will give you a strong foundation to build on.

Growing together in faith and love for Jesus is the strongest foundation you can build on, and these are additional disciplines that will make a big difference in your relationships.

Here’s the 4 T’s that are important for a healthy marriage:


You can’t have a healthy and connected relationship without spending time together. Time allows you to connect and dig deeper. Remember that quantity of time is different that QUALITY time. Quality means more depth and a richer time together. Quantity is just the sheer number of minutes spent together. One can spend a lot of minutes together without being engaged.

Quality time can be time together having quality conversations, having fun, and doing something that you both enjoy. The key is that it’s dedicated time where you’re giving undivided attention to your spouse.


Affection is an important part of healthy relationships. It isn’t all about sex, but that is part of it. Touch in a relationship brings more connection and a feeling of connection and togetherness. Being intentional to have safe and healthy touch, where both people consent, is a good foundation to build on.


Being tender is a way to be loving and gentle with the one you love. This can be in the way you communicate and/or touch. It can also be in how you share vulnerably about how you feel and what you need in your relationship. Tenderness in communication is not being harsh in your tone. It is being open and honest in how you share with the intention to be heard and known while boosting connection. The opposite of tenderness is shaming and blaming in an unsafe way that builds disconnection and emotional walls with your spouse.

Tenderness in touch is also important to build safety and trust in your togetherness.


The last of the 4 T’s that are important for a healthy marriage is trust. This is a very important part of the foundation. Without trust there is insecurity and fear that can run wild and result in division.

Building trust includes doing what you say you’re going to do, communicating openly, doing the ‘right’ thing for the relationship, and owning it when you don’t. It takes long term consistent evidence to build trust.

This is not an exhaustive list by any means, but it’s a good place to start being intentional to help your marriage become healthy and fulfilling. Do an internal inventory to see how well you’re doing at these 4 T’s and be mindful of these disciplines today!