Comparing can be a slippery slope ending in dissatisfaction, discontentment, and depression. We tend to fantasize about ideas of “if only”. Do you get stuck in a comparison trap? Why do people do this so often? Is there any gain in comparing yourself?
Is your thinking stuck in this kind of a comparison trap?
If only I was like him…If only we had a bigger house like the one down the street…If only my kids acted better like hers…If only my marriage was like theirs…If only we had endless money…If only _____(insert dream)____, THEN I would finally enjoy my life, feel loved, be satisfied, be happy and secure.
People who think this way have their happiness controlled by too many “if only” dreams. When this happens, they are blinded to the reality around them.
A comparison trap leads to discontentment
I had a client years ago who loved to watch home improvement shows, but every time she looked around her house she saw ALL that needed to be changed. She had difficulty being grateful for the lovely home she had, and only focused on the areas she didn’t like.
Many people struggle with this kind of thinking with body image issues as well. The internal critic starts going down the rabbit hole of all that is not good enough and struggles to have body gratitude for all that is good about their body.
It could cause you to miss the moment
Focusing on the “if only” keeps you from focusing on what you DO have in your life. Stop worrying about all the things others have and what they are doing and start focusing on your blessings and what you are doing. Life is happening all around you. When you are caught up in comparison, you may miss something.
A comparison trap prevents you from seeing your blessings
There are many things you have that are blessings. Discontentment has an underlying belief that “God got it wrong”. This belief is a slippery slope that leads us to not have a heart of gratitude for all God has done and what He continues to do in your life.
Don’t be paralyzed in the comparison trap of “if only’s”. It’s time for you to shift your thinking and look around to all that is good in your life- and thank the Lord for it! Get unstuck from the comparison trap by working on gratitude and contentment for all the things that are positive right now in your life.