So many of my clients hide their pain and lack vulnerability and authenticity with others. It’s like they have a fear of someone loving them. Do you have a fear of someone loving you?
Things people do when you have a fear of someone loving you:
Keeping life on the surface feels like a safe move, but the safety people gain keeps them from being truly known by others. They miss out on the beautiful place of being accepted, deeply known and understood by others, and most of all genuine love.
Sugar coat reality
Have you ever uttered “I’m fine” as you choked back the tears? I think most of us have been there! When we soften the pain to make it pretty and polished for others, we deny the weight of what we really feel. It’s okay to not always be okay. I wrote an article about this very topic for iMOM.
Don’t ask for help
Sometimes it’s too scary to admit we need help, so we just don’t ask. If you know you need help, it’s not weak to ask for it…it’s actually being honest. Letting trusted people in to help you is a way to let them love you.
Have you ever predicted an outcome and then acted in ways to make it come true? This is a way people self sabotage their need to feel loved. They predict the rejection they might feel from others, so instead of taking the risk towards the possibility of being loved, they prevent it from happening. Someone might do this through isolating or causing conflict that causes rejection.
Relationships can bring great joy and intimacy, but they also can bring heartache. Human relationships will always be messy. But we know the truest love will always come from above. There is no fear in that!